Dummies Guide to NLP
Dummies Guide to NLP
In school, you would have read about Newton’s Third Law of Motion:
Every action has its equal and opposite reaction.
That’s also the basic premise of Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP). It’s all about knowing:
Why you are doing what you are doing
How can you do it even better; and
How can you get the exact results you are after?
Cause & Effect
Put it differently, NLP helps you be on the CAUSE side of an Equation instead of being on the EFFECT side. That is, on the ACTION side instead of being on the REACTION side.
The EFFECT side is where there are 1001 excuses for why you can’t do what you want to do in life. But the CAUSE side is all about taking control in your hands.
NLP practitioners believe that you cannot change the world. But you can change the way you think about and (ACTION) and later act on this thinking (REACTION) in dealing with this world.
NLP teaches us that all behaviour stems from how we process information.
This information is gathered through the five sense organs — sight, sound, smell, taste, touch and feeling.
Just as we program a computer to process information in a certain way, we can program our brain — the supercomputer — to process the sensory input we gather from the outside world for optimal behaviour results we seek. NLP helps us structure our understanding of the world and our reaction to it.
The science is so powerful —- and proven — in actual lab situations that with the use of certain NLP techniques you can actually influence the outcome of every encounter that you have with another person with 100% effective results.
Two main pillars of NLP are:
As human beings we are extremely good at classifying information under various heads. This is required for easy processing. Some people ‘see’ things in their minds. The ‘visual’ type will tend to use phrases like “I get the picture” or “I see what you mean.” Another will “hear” cues and say “I hear what you are saying” or ‘It sounds good to me’, while the ‘kinaesthetic’ may utter “I get a feel for it” or “grasp what you tell them” …..
Now, if you knew the programming code of the other person — the way his/her brain works — would you not be able to predict all his/her thoughts and actions?
You could become a mind reader!
In addition, armed with the knowledge of what you and the other person’s dominant mode is, you could switch your mode from Visual to Auditory to Kinaesthetic.
Research in NLP however indicates that a strong ‘Visual’ approach is more effective with listeners than a ‘kinaesthetic’ or an ‘auditory’ mode!
Have you seen an attorney cross examining a witness — in a movie or real life? Without knowing that he is using NLP, an ace attorney will try to match the mood and metaphor of his star witness’s dominant mode (We call it a ‘representation system” in NLP). He may for instance, begin the examination with, “Are you under tremendous pressure?” “Do you feel like you are going to pieces,” and “can’t come to grips with the REAL truth?” before, pausing to add…. “Don’t you want to get it off your chest? If the witness falls into the trap and nodes a “yes”, the attorney can immediately pounce on him, knocked down his defenses and extract a confession!
To cops and attorneys this comes easy. By listening carefully and paying close attention to how people speak, an investigators can, in NLP, terms, get “in sync” with their ‘targets” by carefully matching their paralanguage, their pitch, pace and direction of speech and get a disclosure. People like people who act like them. Leaders like followers. Heroes like worshippers. And, stars like fan clubs. This is because once you manage to establish that kind of rapport, barriers disappear, trust grows, and confidence follows.